my naem is skwid
i am not fish.
i mite be sick
so im in dish.
the doctor touch
it give me shock.
i do not trust
so now im rock
10/10 squid poetry, on my evergreen squid tweet 😂
the twitter thread the artist created after this was one of the best situations i have ever seen in my whole life:
Somebody give this ignoramus a piece of actual shark skin and tell him to rub his face with it, let him find out just how āsmoothā sharks really are.
Somebody did. I use it as a pillowcase because itās so smooth.
But buddy.
Shark skin feels exactly like sandpaper. It is made up of tiny teeth-like structures called placoid scales, also known as dermal denticles. These scales point towards the tail and help to reduce friction from surrounding water when the sharkĀ swims. ā¦ In the opposite direction, it feels very rough likeĀ sandpaper.
((Here m8Ā https://www.floridamuseum.ufl.edu/fish/discover/sharks/basicsĀ ))
Buddy. Itās smooth. The link you sent me led to a website that described how smooth they are. I dunno, maybe you donāt know how to read?
this post is transcendent
Youāre thinking of dolphins. Dolphins are the ones with smooth skin that feels like a rubber beach ball.
Source: IāM A MARINE BIOLOGIST
No, Iām thinking of sharks.
Source: Iām a superior marine biologist
The same guy who buys an AR-15 enjoys knowing that children live in fear because the guy who buys an AR-15 has a childās intellect, stunted maturity, and is a coward. They love intimidating people who are much younger and pose no threat.
You will never hear of a woman buying a gun and going to a school to kill the vulnerable.
Only white men.
Me trying to show you how easy it is to love you
Pure witchcraft
*Gordon Ramsey voice*
Finally, a good f**king meme
It’s been 84 years since I saw a meme this good
Oh to be a character in a keith haring drawing. Just dancing around… oh shit, look out! A baby! We have to cherish this baby! Oh shit, a cool dog. Oh man oh fuck, I need to have some safe gay sex with my partner
Oh to be a featureless stickman with no secondary sex characteristics, having my gender be relevant ONLY when I’m being gay with someone
ok, i’m built like a noble ox. like i am 6′1 and i am sturdy lady. like thighs for days. if you try to move me. you will be moved. body images aside (lol, i am self conscious about my size, yeah it’s life)
so like, i am very used to girls standing next to me in public places. i end up acquiring a pack of ladies. just because women are like, that lady is a lady men stay away from. i am jerk kryptonite (usually, i get my fair share of creeps, such is life) but most men have self preservation that this 6′1 ox will break them. and i will
so usually i am in my own phone and look up to another lady standing next to me. and i will immediately look up and make eye contact and nod. like, you know, that nod. i see you and you can talk if there is something wrong. i end up on a reg basis being a defacto bodyguard to these young ladies and small women while waiting for buses and in the metro.
i am a large oak tree. i protect the other birds.
ladies, we all got roles. find tree in the wild. we’re always happy to provide shelter from the creeps.
i’ve regularly said, “move on, she doesn’t want to be your friend”
I’m in love
Story time: So I’m 6’2 and “big boned” as my mother would call it. This happens to me all the time and a couple years ago I managed to get the the front row of a Macklemore concert. This woman, probably 5’4, squeezes up next to me and says, “Hey, I’m here alone, do you mind if I stand in front of you?” Of course not. So we’re all having a good time, dancing around, when all of a sudden this Bro™️ is behind me telling me that I’m too tall to be in the front row and it’s not fair. Now, keep in mind that this concert was outside, in February, in Vail CO. It was FREEZING so not only am I of the stature I am but I had my hair up and a beanie on and a big coat and boots. We try our best to ignore him but Bro™️ is drunk and very clearly thinks I’m a man and proceeds to punch me in the back of the head.
LIL SIS WENT OFF, FOLKS. This tiny woman literally moved me out of the way, jumped up, and head butted Bro™️ in the face with such a fury. I thought she was going to kill him, it was truly a beautiful moment in my life.
The moral of the story is that for every tree in the wild there is a cute little birdy who will defend its shelter to the death. Stick together ladies👯♀️
NOW I AM IN LOVE.
but mom how will other people know that you, a white Texan, are a Christian
same
Jesus
I bet those two are couple now..
Iām gay
me too
This is such a great story
update from Houston pride 2019! weāre friends
This is probably the most insulting thing Iāve seen in a really long time.
what the fuck??????
I planned on going to the UofM after high school so Iāve looked at itās tuition fees, and itās DEFINITELY something I will not be able to afford without any type of loans. After seeing this and researching a bit more I might reconsider my choice of college. Why? Because this is straight up unfair. Why are they allowed to go back to college and earn credits for a small price of $10 while younger students taking the SAME COURSE have to pay full tuition?? I donāt want this type of shit to be seen as some āsenior discountā because to me, senior discounts for restaurants or whatever else entertainment is fine. But this is an education matter, and there should be no type of ādiscountsā or decrease in price for anyone because of their age. Especially since baby boomers are usually more well off than we are. These boomers want to go back to college but donāt want to spend money to pay for full tuition? Too fucking bad. Either apply for scholarships or pay full price like everyone else.